Its snowing like crazy tonight. I can't help but think about you. You'd love this. It reminds me of the afternoon we met up the night after you tried to kill yourself, and I stayed up with you trying to keep you alive. I took you for a ride, to a place you'd never been before, and without saying anything, let you climb over it and explore it. You said thanks, and that you liked it. I thought if I could show you something you'd never known was there, you'd remember that you weren't done exploring this life, and you would try to be alive again. I feel like if I could show you this, you might wake up again. Maybe I'd see a flicker of you, the little drop of my stomach when I think "Oh no...I love you." Part of me prays you'll come back and be healed. Part of me hopes I'll fall desperately in love with someone else who deserves me.
Let's move to California and get a little house with a yard close to the beach, and walk around with our dogs and have parties and jam sessions and socialize with new, amazing people every night.
So I have a tendency to make friends, pretty much everywhere. Its one quality I really like most about myself. Cashiers, homeless men on the corner playing violin, customers, teachers, the kid that sits next to me in class...I like that I have this ability to befriend all types of people and its funny, the collection of characters I've obtained over the years.
What bothers me is that I won't be there to comfort you.
I can't stop thinking about that hair pull thing...nice move. Really.
I'd like to own a cupcake shop.
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